Drunk mall shopping has some potentially different causes, let's have a look at what those may be. Then we can successfully continue our in depth look at look at the Pros and Cons of drunk shopping via both the Internet and the Mall. Follow me please :>)
NOTE: THERE WAS NO ACTUAL DRUNK DRIVING INVOLVED IN THIS EXPERIMENT. NO ANIMALS WERE TESTED AND NO ONE GOT HURT. ALL STUNTS WERE PERFORMED BY THE ACTUAL CHARACTERS, WHOSE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THEIR DIGNITY
Friday night has left you with a slight headache. You were able to avoid a complete hangover, by matching your shots with a glass of water and you still can't believe that it actually worked.
Breakfast isn't going to be anything heavy, cause your tummy is still a smidge on the queasy side. Coffee, a couple slices of toast and some scrambled eggs.
Later, you begin your quest for your hubby's car part. The one that you have absolutely no idea what to call it and a vague idea of what it does.
You decide to spend an hour, maybe two looking for this elusive car part. You grab the yellow pages, your cell, and open up your notebook (the computer kind). You dial the first number.
While you're waiting for the bloke on the other end to answer, your mind keeps drifting to that great leather hand bag that you saw last week in Dillard's at the mall.
He answers. You describe the part as a "bushing for the rack and pinion steering." You can almost feel the guy nodding with his "uh huhs" at your brilliant description. This is way easier than you thought it was gonna be. He knows exactly what you're talking about, right? WRONG! He tells you, you're gonna have to bring the part in, so he can see it.
'Yeah right,' you think. Now even though, you're hubby is somewhat of a self proclaimed, expert back yard mechanic, you know darn well that his friend's car is getting a new alternator installed, before that part he's looking for is ever getting removed from his truck. Your thinking, 'The only way that's coming off before I actually find this part, Buddy is if it FALLS off.' That call goes in your phoned column marked, doesn't have.
The next two guys are as knowledgeable as the first, and you know that you're gonna have to break down and just show up at the parts store, looking for someone who looks like they have a clue, or you're gonna be in hot water with the hubby, because you acted like it was no big deal to do this one thing for him...you're mind wanders to the little bar next to parts store that you saw a Margarita Happy Hour sign in on your way to the mall last weekend.
The last guy on the phone made it sound as though you wanted spare parts for your rocket ship. He said you were looking for a "Steering Vibration Dampener." What The...?
You gather your list of things that you need while you're out, and quickly jot down a few more things that you had forgotten to add, like Cranberry and Orange juice for the frozen drinks you and your girlfriend will be sipping on after your mall excursion. You've already rang her and she's meeting you in thirty minutes, at the bar next to the parts store.
At the parts store, you figure out rather quickly that the newest, youngest kid has more knowledge than the manager and his two assistants put together. You describe the part, he hands it to you, charges you eight bucks plus tax and you leave with your Steering Coupling Disc and it's receipt in your purse, and cross the parking lot to the Happy Hour bar, where your dear friend is waiting with Margaritas!
One...no two... quite Happy Hours later, you and your friend decide you absolutely have to go to Dillard's to find that handbag. It would be a criminal offence, if you didn't.
Fortunately, the parts store, and the bar are on the outskirts of the Mall property, so you make a great decision to walk to the mall.
As the two of you enter through the main entrance, you make a mental note of a Ruby Tuesdays location, in case you get thirsty later.
You are in Dillards, and there it is! That fabulous bag and the exact color you saw here last week. You can't believe that there's even one left. You were certain that everyone through the door, would have snagged up that gorgeous bag.
You check the price tag; $225.00! Yikes! AND you rationalize it's marked down from $325.00. You gotta have it, it goes with......with...it goes with something. And even if it doesn't, HEY, you're at the Mall with a credit card, your best friend and a decent buzz. It's all good.
Feeling very satisfied with your purchase, the two of you make your way to Robinson's May to look for dress boots. It's at the other end of the mall.
A few stores down, the thirst begins. It is temporarily diffused as you see this
and decide that maybe you just need to sit for a few minutes and rest. So the two of you hunker down in this this little trove, take in the scenery and talk about more life stuff.
The conversation turns back to clothes, boots, bags and shopping, so you both get up and head to the Buckle store, just in case you missed anything online last night.
You escape Buckle for just under four hundred bucks and auspiciously decide that you'll find out what you picked when you get home and check the bag, cause you just can't remember right now.
The thirst is back, yours and hers. Ruby Tuesdays is the next door over. It's time for appetizers and hard to pronounce beers.
You order the one that the waiter tells you is "Not from here, beer, made by celibate Monks, that are not from here."
About an hour and a six pack (between the two of you) later you head back out into the mall towards Robinson's May, but are detoured by a quaint accessories store that has sunglasses, jewelry, handbags and
masquerade ball masks (quinceanera - pronounced - kin-sin y' aira) and even belly dancer outfits. Uh oh.
You don't need a belly dancer outfit, because miraculously, you already have one or two (you're not quite sure). But you certainly could always use more shades; and the the deal here today is ' buy one, get one half off.' Almost your favorite deal.
You and your girlfriend each get six pairs. Then you spot them and have to have them. The bracelets
that are so darn close to the ones that Linda Carter wore as Wonder Woman; one of the most awesome Super Heroes of all time! All you need to complete your outfit now is the 'lasso of truth.' Even as buzzed as you are after the Monk beer, you keep that to yourself. You're out the door for about one fifty. You are the Master Shopper!!
Your friend and you are both smiling and the perfect shopping theme music begins. Not sure if it's in your head or actually in the mall, but who cares, you're having too much fun.
You make your way through the mall and you both decide that The Cheesecake Factory
will be the stop after Robinson's May.
Robinson's May has hats, scarfs and hand bags on sale and a really cool pair of boots that are a Chippewa motorcycle boot, knock off.
Marked down from
Now it's off to the Cheesecake Factory for
A few more drinks at the Cheesecake Factory and you and your friend, verbally agree that it would be best to have someone who's not either of you, drive you home.
You call a cab, and wake up Sunday morning with your clothes and makeup still on, surrounded by your purchases and a thumping noggin.
Pros - Drunk Mall Shopping
- You're not driving, so you won't kill yourself or anyone else (however maiming and injuring yourself cannot be completely left out of the equation).
- You get to actually try on your purchases.
- You have some one who's willing to go with you.
- You have the instant gratification of taking your stuff home that day.
Cons - Drunk Mall Shopping
- There is potential to actually maim or injure yourself or someone else, even walking.
- Your companion may decline your next invitation to the mall.
- You spent too much money.
- The credit card bill arrived in the mail, just after you left for the mall and your hubby saw it.
- The Skinny Mojitos did not off set the calories in the cheesecake that you ate.
Thanks for reading.Cheers! Until the next adventure...
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