LOVE, on the other hand, is an equal playing field for those willing to experience it at it's true velocity....to which there are no boundaries.
"If only you could love enough, you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world." ~ Emmet Fox
"Life's hard...Love harder..love is a gift, a light that each of have to share." His voice was slow and steady; his face serious and trance like. The glow from the campfire accentuated all the lines in his face. It seemed to make his blue eyes brighter. He picked up a handful of dirt and haphazardly threw it into the fire pit.
He dragged his weathered dusty boot back and forth before stamping his foot. He was sitting on a large rock across from me and his nephews. He removed his hat and fanned the flames for a brief moment, then re-settled his hat on his head while he dug in his jacket pocket for a pack of smokes. He set them on the rock next to him.
He spoke again to the trance of fire "She taught me that...Liv I mean."A tear raced down the side of his face, just one. I opened my mouth to say something and Jesse put his hand on my knee and shook his head when I looked at him.
"All the things that you enjoy about me, all the good stuff, Cupcake, that's Liv. She's the reason I exist. I wish you could have known her. Cause I can't explain her right, not justly any how." He was silent again. "When you look up in the sky and see the brightest shining star, that was Liv." He paused and looked at me " I sound silly, I know. I'm not the most romantic guy in the world, I suppose, but she loved me none the less.
I been in rodeo most all my life. I been dragged, trampled, stampeded, punctured, broken, and put back together so many times, I made Humpty Dumpty look easy to all the Kings men and their horses. But none of that hurt worse then losing her...I can truly see why one spouses light wants to burn out right after the other. I wanted to, she wouldn't let me." His face was stoic, my eyes were the ones leaking now.
I searched my pocket for tissue as I listened to the slow steady pace of his deep even voice. Wade handed me his bandanna. I wiped my face and quickly returned it to him.
" I grew up in a very different time, Cupcake." He looked through the fire at me to acknowledge me listening. I nodded. His eyes dropped back towards his hands resting on his knees and he continued to speak
"It was a hard life. I was born when the stock market crashed." He stopped, chuckled, and added "Not right on the day, but you get me?" I nodded. Neither of his nephews made a sound. "Things got bad sometimes. We didn't waste nothing. There were five of us kids and we worked as soon as we could walk or talk. What's that, like three? We had a farm, so we ate. We fed most of the neighbors who grew other stuff and people passing through or lookin' for work." Marlboro Man got up and went to the wood pile, grabbed a couple of logs and threw them into the fire. The flames went briefly higher; the crackle settled down by the time he was re-seated.
He talked for a time about how bad the economy had gotten and some things that he thought the government did that was wrong then. He stopped himself a few times from discussing his views about what the government was doing wrong now and simply said "I hope they don't make the same mistakes this time. Things repeat you know?" He didn't wait for a response. "Both good and bad things repeat." His words were slow and thoughtful. Quiet ensued. For about five minutes. me, Jesse, and Wade stared into the crackling fire. The atmosphere was us knowing that we shouldn't say a thing. We just waited until he started to speak again.
"I was ten years old when we moved up here to California. My two oldest brothers stayed back east and kept farming there til the 80's. That's another story altogether. Mom and Dad took me and my two older sisters and settled part of this ranch. I got the rest of it years later."
He stopped and told Jesse to get the whiskey from the saddle bags. "Get this young lady a water too." He called after him. Marlboro Man winked and tipped his hat to me.
He took the pack of smokes from the rock, hiked one up to his lips, retrieved a stick from the fire, lit the cigarette with it and tossed the stick back into the fire pit. He dragged on it to get it going.
Jesse returned with a bottle of Jack Daniels, a bottle of water, and a large shot glass. He walked to me and handed me the water bottle. Then went back to the Marlboro Man. He poured to the top of the glass and handed it to his uncle. Marlboro Man drank it fast and handed the glass back to Jesse. Jesse refilled it and handed it back to Marlboro Man. He drank the second shot and signaled Jesse to take it away.
Jesse moved to the side of fire near me and Wade, poured a shot for Wade, offered me one to which I declined and drank two himself before settling back in next to me.
"I'm just warming up , Cupcake. You like good stories. I reckon you'll like this one."
To be Continued....
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Life's Hard Love Harder Part 2 - The Marlboro Man
Life's Hard Love Harder Part 3 - The Marlboro Man
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