"There is no difficulty that enough love won't conquer, no disease that enough love won't heal; No door that enough love will not open...." ~ Emmet Fox
"She wasn't my first choice,"he paused and gathered his words. he let out a nervous laugh and admitted "Liv I mean. Sometimes men don't think right, Cupcake. " He looked across the fire at me and I realized that my mouth was open in silent awe at his admission. I nodded in acknowledgement, but also found my mouth to be extremely dry. An awareness of the fire heating my face and the feeling of dirt on my tongue made me instinctively reach for the water bottle that Jesse had given me. I drank nearly half of it at once, while the boys sat in silence.
The Marlboro Man reached for the whiskey bottle, lit a cigarette, and continued his story.
"The boys weren't even born yet when I was married to Beverly. She was their Aunt Liv's best friend.
Liv moved to the farm next door when I was in my early twenties. A few years after that, her friend Beverly was here visiting from Southern California.
Forgive me Cupcake if I'm being brash, but Beverly was one hot chick!
Boys tend to follow lust most times and that's just the real truth. I myself, was at the time, a 'boy.'
Boys tend to follow lust most times and that's just the real truth. I myself, was at the time, a 'boy.'
He looked at Jesse and Wade as he spoke the next words "Confidence, in this old cowboy's opinion, is the most breath-taking thing a woman can have. Beverly may have been a beauty, but she was nothing near confident.
Now a guy may not be concerned with that at the beginning, but I'm here to tell you that for a strong willed man, there ain't a better match than a confident woman. There's some other things that need to be considered too, like beliefs, what you are underneath at the core." He thumped on his chest with an open palm over his heart, then dug in his pocket for the pack of cigarettes that he had returned there a short time ago. He nodded at Jesse to pour another shot, then addressed me.
"You sure you don't want one? You may hear things about me that you don't like, but I assure you, I am only being honest." He smiled and tipped his hat at me again.
"I'm ready. All ears over here Nick," I said, smiling back at him. I felt like things were about to get interesting.
"Well I gotta set you straight. I see how you look at me for wisdom. THAT is something I have, but I didn't come by it magically. I came by it, by falling down, dusting myself off, getting back up and giving it hell every time I fell, rinse and repeat.
I prayed a lot. God, is with you, even when you feel like he ain't. Otherwise I guess I woulda been a lot shorter in this world than I have been. By his grace I'm still kickin'. " He looked up towards the sky when he said 'grace.'
"Liv was a pretty girl. A fun girl." His smile then stretched from ear to ear. "She was my horse riding partner, my fishing buddy. We worked side by side. She was my best friend. When Beverly came up to visit one summer, I started courting her." He paused and asked us all "Comprende courting? Not sure that's what you kids call it anymore. And I think maybe it's a lot different. At least I suspect with all these teen mothers and all that jazz." That was one of the very few times that I have ever seen the Marlboro Man roll his eyes.
"Liv never said a word other than wishing me and Beverly the best when we tied the knot six months later. But I seen something sad in her face. She didn't come around as much anymore and after the 'honeymoon' effect wore off within about a year, I started really missing my friend, Liv." He kicked at dirt, like a child who's been scolded.
"Beverly couldn't have kids. I'm grateful for that. Even if that's not the right thing to admit. I don't wanna go long on all the bad stuff that happened with Beverly. Just know that a loyal cowboy is always a loyal cowboy, until he can't be for reasons out of his control.
Beverly did not like rodeo. That's what I AM. She wanted to take me out of the country and into the city and she had plans for us that I didn't want, and worse could never be or live up to for her.
Now listen, cause this is the lesson about being who you are and your spouse or lover or whatever being okay with you being you. Make sense?
The true ones will love even the things that bother them about you..." He leaned in towards the fire and loudly whispered "THAT is true unconditional love." Then sat back on the rock and lit a smoke.
He talked for another hour or so about trying to hold the marriage together and managing to do it for about ten years, when he had a terrible accident from a bull ride gone wrong.
"Doctors said I'd never walk again, or ride, that's the part that crushed my spirit." He trailed off and yawned.
"Think we outta turn in and I will finish the story during breakfast and the ride to the lake. Anyway we came up to catch fish, not flies."
He threw his bed roll on the dirt and made himself comfortable. His hat covered his face and a muffled "Good night" came from under it.
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Life's Hard..Love Harder Part 1 - The Marlboro Man
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