A Date, a Dog or a Kiss Goodbye??

   "Everything happens for a reason."
That's a statement that I wasn't always sure of...but looking back, with that particular perspective, it has impacted my own life in a lot of different ways. (even in the ones that I never seem to want to admit.)  
    Earlier in the year, I met a new friend whom I had loads in common with, it almost seemed like we were created from the same mold. 
    He understood my odd sense of humor. We talked about everything under the sun, probably even talked about the sun. It was nice to have a friend who was so much like me...
    We spent hours on the phone. We had breakfast every Wednesday morning. I taught him some of the things I know about real estate investing and business. 
      And then everything has a draw back doesn't it? Well this is no exclusion or exception to the rule. 
    My new friend, hung out for a short time and subsequently disappeared into the sunset, not riding a horse like the cowboy I've always dreamed of...he was driving a Lexus. 
    He didn't say much about his departure, just that he had some things to sort out. I do hope he got them sorted. 
      

    My new friend happened to rescue a cute little dachshund from a monsoon storm late in the Phoenix summer.  

     Of all the gifts I've ever received, this one was definitely the most unusual.. It started simply as    

   "This little guy needs a home." and turned into  
   "When are you taking him (the dog) home?" 
   I put it all off as long as I possibly could. Making lame excuses about why I couldn't take on the care of a pet. Eventually, I ran out of excuses.
   The truth is that the guilt of not being home much makes them (your pets) fat. I know this because my new house mate gets more than his fair share of treats..(my mom's vet says treats are like feeding your pet candy bars - nutritional value = 0). 
    Okay, the fun of a pet definitely outweighs the reasons NOT to have a pet. As you can see my little  "Lowrider" gets himself into some spots that are compromising and really makes me wonder what he does when he's alone and I'm not home. 

I also wonder what he's thinking when he gets himself into jacket sleeves or laundry baskets..
   I think we know how this story turned out. I got the dog, the friend never turned into a date and there certainly was no kiss goodbye. But I'm quite happy with the dog. 

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Death of a Rock and Roll Icon

" They came from near.......They came from afar....but they all came for the same thing......to play on the stage of the Mason Jar."

        Hot rods and Harleys don the dimly lit parking lot and if you don't know where you're headed, you might drive right past.

       The place is a tiny hole in the wall in a well known part of Phoenix called the Biltmore. The 'hole in the wall' in question is tucked neatly between 23rd and 24th Streets on the south side of Indian School Road.

      If you're early enough, you could catch a glimpse of Franco (the Jar's Manager) with his entourage of beautiful women and his funky shoes...actually they are clogs; yes the open backed, wooden soled shoe.
      I do remember on one or more occasions, hearing Franco's surname...but much like Madonna, Franco traveled and was recognized simply by his single first name, Franco.
      Franco's infamous and strange attire coupled with his thick accent, the famous, not so famous and soon to be famous bands that he put on stage at his club, made him somewhat of an icon himself... 
       
                       A Night in the Jar     
       
       It's a Friday night; there's a line out the door, spilling into the parking lot. Scantily clad gals with big hair are standing in line with boyfriends and husband's who boast sleeves of blue ink.
      You have your money in hand because it's cash only..a five dollar cover per person. The man at the door is big, bald and also covered in ink. He takes your cash and checks your identification to make sure you're twenty one. If you're not, you're not coming in, NO exceptions. 
       Past the door man and into the bar, grab a table if it's available, because you know it will soon be standing room only. Head to the bathroom to pee and "touch up" your makeup before the music starts, because when you come back, the que will be astounding. It's already starting to build.
         The bathroom is painted basic black, ceiling to floor, including the stalls, with splotches of florescent pink, yellow and green on the walls.
        You  hear your friend's band doing their initial sound check. You and your friends are here to support them. They are the opening act tonight for Phoenix's own Meat Puppets. 
        When you return, a girl pushing Jagermeister shots approaches and offers shooters in medical vials to the table.
      Five or six shots later, your friend's band sounds better then you've ever heard them before and you're, once again, looking for the bathroom. 
       While in line to the loo (bathroom), you notice the girl two people ahead of you is wearing an awesome pair of boots. You tap her on the shoulder and ask where she got them. She can't hear you, so you signal to the gal in front of you, who obviously understands obsessions with footwear and grants you safe passage (in elementary school this is called "line cutting").
        Ten minutes later, you spot a gal three people ahead in line whose outfit you know would look smashing on you (you're about the same size). The tapping begins, and of course the gal behind her understands cool clothes... well maybe not (you think as you look at her haphazard Garanimals gone wild outfit) but it's definitely cool of her to concede to your whims. 
        The Jager girl has been by three times since you started standing in the bathroom que and you have accepted two of the three shots she's offered. You begin to get a slight bit dizzy, but simply lean back against the wall and wait your turn. You look up and see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel...well at least you can see the light in the ladies room as the door is held open..at this point, THAT light will do just fine. 
        The "Garanimals" girl and her friend help you up and get you to the bathroom, moments before the last shot of Jagermeister is leading your Taco Bell to the porcelain throne. You make it but just barely before catching the shoes of the girl in the "smashing outfit."  You now have a pretty good idea of why the bathrooms are painted black.
         Nearly forty minutes later you make it back to the table and realize that you've missed most of your friends band, and the Meat Puppets are finishing their first song and announcing, their next gig on this very stage with
Nirvana 
          
     The Mason Jar, or as many called it..the Jar, which did eventually change it's name to just that, was not well known for it's great stage, great sound, or fabulous ambiance. Naw, it was just "the place to be."A great hang out for musicians and friends. 
     You agree to let your friends drive you home and promise you'll be back again when they are opening next month for another of Phoenix's favorite sons, Linkin Park (well the Chet Bennington part of Linkin Park anyway).

  Epilogue: The Mason Jar survived the 1980's and 1990's and was renamed the Jar in 2000. Think of any Rock, Hip Hop, Punk, Alternative or Funk band that came through Phoenix to get to L.A. and they may have played the Jar. 

In 2006 The Rock and Roll Icon known as the Jar was laid to rest..but will never be forgotten by those who were a part of it.

The former Mason Jar or the Jar, recently reopened in 2015 as the Rebel Lounge. It is with great hope that the once iconic stage will abound again with great local, unknown and well known talents. At least that's my hope :)

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All Hallowed Eve's Grandiose Spectacular....Muuahahahah

Everyone knows that Halloween is the one night of the year that we dress our little minions up in scary, spooky and cute costumes to go beg for Mom and Dad's favorite candy... at the neighbors.... oh wait that's....oops...misprint... Let's start again.  

    
   I was blessed to spend the trick or treating season this year, in Tucson with my boys and friends. There were few tricks, although, one man did ask a Costumer to stand on one leg and spin around..to receive the candy goods.. which was quite a funny treat.
  
   Our fun began, of course with the kids getting in costume. Once the Grim Reaper was dressed; we were off to meet our friends on the North side of Tucson, for Trick or Treating in their subdivision.

    Once in town, our candy gathering regimen was joined by a werewolf. I'm not sure if he was from London or not, he didn't howl with a British accent at tall.  

A cowgirl, Uncle Fester from the Munster's, a Crayola Crayon, The Sonic Burger Red Devil (whom her sister curiously referred to as Captain Save a Ho- more on that later) and an escaped Convict (not a relative, or an ex boyfriend thanks.)
      Off we go..The Crayon and the Convict are a slight bit older than the Reaper and the Wolf..The Crayon had decided that her handbag worked as well for catching and containing sugary treats as any other and at one stop is questioned by the man passing out candy. He said " It THAT your purse?" and she answered with an emphatic "Yes." Meanwhile, I'm thinking 'Do men really know how the things they find in a woman's purse, get there?'
      

Guided by James with a flashlight on the front side and Captain Save a Ho (the Red Devil) on the backside, using her new Samsung Galaxy III as the other guiding light, we continued on through the darkness gathering candy.

      We stumbled upon a place that someone had gone through the trouble to put together. A scary fun house guarded by this man..  

The theme music playing of course was "Werewolves of London."

      
     At one stop, the cowgirl and Uncle Fester approached the stoop and a man said to Uncle Fester " Look at the Dummy...I mean the Mummy." to which the Cowgirl quickly responded "I'm NOT a dummy...I'm smart and beautiful." and she is. We all chuckle.
     A few stops later, the cowgirl tripped and began to sniffle, "I hurt me knee." She was quickly reminded 
   "That shouldn't hinder your ability to continue begging for candy..get back to work." Sometimes a harsh dose of reality is needed to counteract laziness in children where chocolate is concerned...ummm...but ah..back to the story.
     
   About an hour later, we had managed our way through the subdivision, and the Grim Reaper was tired, but we hadn't yet stopped at our usual Trick or Treating Spot; The one that we had frequented for the past several years. A Halloween Utopia, the Carnival of Halloween subdivisions.  
     Due to the decline in the economy, it was not as decked out as in prior years, but was, however, still loaded with lights, decor and every other house was a Fun House, Fear Factory and Candy Cornucopia.

 

There were children riding in red wagons, pulled by their parents. I asked one parent 
 "Isn't that the way to go?" referring to her eight year old being pulled in a red wagon. She answered "What I wouldn't give to be towed in a red wagon and have candy dumped on me." We both laughed.  

       The Halloween festival neighborhood is not just for the kiddies. (Yes. that's a dog dressed as a banana)
Oh no. The first year we went, there were actually barbeques going on..Ribs, Baked Taters, Corn on the Cob style barbeques. 
       The fire department and the nearby church also get in on the fun creating a plethora of entertainment value for the community. 
       Because we went else where first, the festival in this neighborhood was winding down. We ran into a few other friends and the Grim Reaper advised that it was time to go home.
       It's been decided that next year will will begin and end at this sub division for our Trick or Treating Extravaganza.  

Cheers until next adventure!!!!! 


Copyright 2014 - Noelle Sangster/Sangster Entertainment LLC - All rights reserved

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Scenes from an Italian Restaurant Match Making Internet Dating Site?

 For Emma - Because we only know our true strength when our ability to endure has come to pass. x.x.

                        Author's note: All links are always yellow.
 
Okay..do we even make it past coffee anymore? I'm beginning to wonder. Let's talk about a subject that I've been putting off for some time; Maybe not for any other reason than it seems to me, much like continually repeating the simulation of a car crash. Are there casualties? Most definitely. You may even know some.

Roughly twelve years ago, YAHOO had a fantastic idea, people could meet online, date, get married, and have babies, all through the portal called "IM" (instant messaging). AND you could invite your entire family and friends via web cam to your virtual NUPS, call it good and spend all your wedding dough on a vacation to the Bahamas. NO DOUGH? The virtual trip may be just as good and you'll save even more, cause you don't have to TIP.

YAHOO's initial brilliant idea morphed into INTERNET DATING 

Insert Wavy Flashback here.

Video dating, by that time had become a defunct and quite extinct animal (frankly, I'm not quite sure it ever escaped the BETA phase)....but INTERNET DATING was just getting started and it was FRESH!!!

I probably don't need to name all the sites, and not sure that I could, but I am quite certain that you've seen them both online and on the TV (for those of you who do watch TV, I mean). And they've grown, exponentially since their meager beginnings. 

Hundreds if not thousands of internet dating sites boast that THEY are the ONE who can match YOU  "scientifically" or by using their special "formula," with your spouse, perfect mate, soul mate, best friend, acquaintance, girlfriend, boyfriend, school mate, band mate, bed mate, stand up comic, one night stand, slam dance buddy, tattoo artist...Whew! I'm sure I've forgotten some of them, but none the less...let's get to the fun part.

The first part of the fun is picking the Internet Dating site that will bring you one step closer to your TRUE LOVE. Know that you are going to spend at least a part time jobs worth of time finding the perfect site and possibly have to pony up some cash on a monthly basis to belong to that "exclusive" dating site. 

Fortunately Frugal people are still dating (who actually pays for the date is another blog altogether) and there are several FREE dating sites as well (Yes, we can include Craigs List with that.)  And you gotta wade through a little more crap to distinguish between FRUGAL and CHEAP. I don't think Wal-mart has quite gotten in the game yet, but they have their grubs in everything else, so don't count them out.

Once you've decided on the site or sites (you can become a member of more than one) You can do one of several things: 

• You can take a week or two to construct your own Power Point Presentation of the reasons you deserve that perfect person, who you know (or at least have been assured) is also a member, somewhere in the vast data banks of this Match Making site.
• Forgo actually answering any of those silly formulated questions and simply say " I Rock." and "If you have questions, just ask." Which at first glance to most proves how lazy you really are.
• You can hire a professional writer to write your perfect bio.
• You can pretend you're something you're not and write your life the way you wish it REALLY was, and tell the truth to your TRUE LOVE later, because you're pretty darn sure they'll understand, Hey, they are after all, your TRUE LOVE.

Add a Photo of your beautiful self....ummm preferably NOT the one that you had to Photoshop your former significant other out of - you know the one where you were actually smiling and you can barely see their hand or arm..but let's be honest..no one actually poses the way you look in it, without Photoshop. Maybe you're TRUE LOVE won't mind?

LET THE GAMES BEGIN.....At first, it seems an awful lot like the card game "Go Fish" And you excitedly check your e-mail and mobile for "hits" on your profile...and you find that loads of people are actually like fish....too big, too small, too skinny, unable to land, throw backs and the occasional "keeper" or "match."

If in fact you don't catch a "Keeper" after months of playing the game, "Go Fish" begins to vaguely but curiously resemble another famous card game called "Old Maid." And you wonder, "Was it something I said?.. Something I didn't say?....Something I could have said?...or  "D - All of the Above?" 

Truth is, if you can't keep someones attention in person, online is not gonna help you much, no matter who you are. 

Also, let's not overlook the fact that if you belong to one or more "social networks." You've gotten yourself what resembles a part-time job without pay. If it makes ya feel better, we can call it an "Internship."  :)

Either way, you now have to maintain a certain web presence in order to actively participate in Internet Dating. 

Once you've been actively maintaining your Internet Dating Presence (IDP for compulsive acronym users), you will begin what I'll call the "Interviewing Process."  

During the 'Interviewing Process' you many find many candidates who simply are NOT cut out for the 'position' you are offering.

Once you've weeded through the stalkers, the 40 somethings still living with my parents, the I'm married but I wanna get wit u baby, need a sugar momma/daddy, and closet trannys; you know that you are one step closer to meeting your TRUE LOVE, because you have endurance, sticktuitiveness, and stamina. Let's face it, you are loyal until you hate yourself.

The first date.....

Coffee...because coffee only lasts 20 to 30 minutes, it's less time than lunch and considerably less time and effort than dinner or a movie.

You've made it through the first few days of actual conversation through email, text and phone, with someone who you find quite attractive (or so their online pics would show) and whom you feel has quite a few things in common with you. So you make a coffee date and head for the plaza that has good coffee, is close enough to your house, yet far enough away from it, that if your date is a stalker or some other unmentionable freak, you can make a hasty and well plotted escape and lose them if they attempt to follow.

You arrive, you are waved over to a table by someone whom you have never seen before (not even in pictures...curious). As you get closer, you realize that the pictures of this person, are ones that you have seen, and are in fact representative of a much younger and thinner person than sits before you now.

Introductions ensue and you sit for 20 minutes politely listening to this person tell you all of the miserable things life has dumped upon their shoulders...you make it through, but decide that calling back would obligate you for more than you're willing with this person.

Back at home, your inbox is full of potential candidates once again. So you perform the same ritual...read, throw away, contact, set a date for coffee....drive home frustrated, check the email...read, throw away, contact, set a date for coffee..

A few months later, you decide that you just DON'T have enough time for the frustrations of accelerated (internet) dating and you delete all of your IDP's.

Later that evening, while you're taking out the trash, you run into your single neighbor, who happens to have loads in common with you. You talk for an hour and make a dinner date at your favorite Italian restaurant.


Copyright 2014 - Noelle Sangster/Sangster Entertainment LLC - All rights reserved

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"GOODWILL" Hunting

   It's the weekend again.... and any Phoenician Bargain Hunter will tell you that the place to be, if you're NOT at Last Chance is Goodwill, as every other weekend is Super Saving Saturdays (50% off everything!) at the Goodwill's of Arizona...Please tag along while we share a weekend shopping adventure. 
   This Goodwill Hunting is about treasure finding and has nothing to do with Matt Damon (darn!), but is loads of fun none the less. 
   As the saying goes "One man's TRASH is another man's TREASURE." or in the case of a woman... another gal's treasure. 
    Treasure, however, does not have to be gender specific, as we will find that TREASURE is TREASURE, no matter who owned it first. 
   I am joined by three other TREASURE  seekers. My good friend Emily and my sons Jason and Joseph. 
   Jason doesn't seem to be seeking as much as he's hiding. Joe on the other hand is a natural born "I want" shopper and he finds some...ah...treasures..(let's keep in mind the earlier slogan about "one man's trash....") 
     
   I can't help but eaves drop on a couple in the housewares...as a man shouts to his wife 
    "Honey!!! Look it's brand new, still in the box!..." His voice tapers into a loud excited whisper "AND it's a Dell!!" 
    I look at the box and think  " Silly man, Adele is a British Pop Star, that's obviously an HP" Apparently I said this out loud, and realized it when Jason, shushed me and tried to pull me in an opposite direction. The gal standing next me giggled and continued her shopping.

    
   We catch up to Emily who has found some fantastic colored glassware. Not just any glassware, a Genie lamp! perhaps we can have a wish or 3?

 I wish that Joe would dress in some really cool "Pimp Daddy Clothes"   

BAM!!!!

and that some tasty grooving music would play.....Oh My Gaw....wish granted... Gotta love Genie lamps. I wish for a leprechaun  
BAM!! BAM!! SHAZAM!!

It turns out, however that he is quite reluctant to tell me where he's hiding his pot o' gold. So, I wish for a leprechaun with less of an attitude, and nothing happens....then I realize I've used my three wishes and I am now fresh out (Pimp Daddy clothes, tasty grooves and a leprechaun = 3).
    You may be wondering 'How much adventure can someone have in a thrift store?'  Well, I have to answer...as much as your imagination will allow; without completely disturbing the other shoppers or being hauled off by the cops for doing something weird and unacceptable.  
      Books, furniture, cds, dvds, housewares, small appliances...Slice -O-Matic, A Darth Vadar mask..the entire SG-1 dvd series...oh what treasures to behold!

and when you're ready to take a break, simply pop in the jeans wardrobe and be carted off to Narnia for a refreshing spot of tea, and nearly your entire teen years....Return ten years later and you arrive looking exactly the same as you did the entire five minutes (from this side of the wardrobe anyway) that your mother was looking for you. 

Cheers!....until the next adventure





Copyright 2014 - Noelle Sangster/Sangster Entertainment LLC - All rights reserved

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WTH!! TALK about some serious TEXT?

Maestro Please - This Blog May contain offensive language.

   There's a new talk in town. Not just your town. Towns across the globe. New York to Vancouver, Sydney to Wellington, London to Paris and everything in between. 
   The past few years have brought about the emergence of TEXTING. Its a phenom really, isn't it? There are so many different ways to send a message, that no longer require "a bottle;" sorry Sting.
     I must say, I've become accustomed to people not only TEXTing, but speaking in TEXT. Often when I ask my oldest son a question he does not know the answer to, he simply states IDK..which we all should know means I don't know. But let's also not forget the ever popular WTH (what the heck/ what the hell) or WTF (what the f***k) which people tend to not only TEXT but also frequently say aloud. 
   Or in the case of my six year old ...who simply says "WHAT THE"...and while all of the adults stand in awe waiting....thankfully he never finishes. Not because he wouldn't if given the chance, but because I'm quite certain he doesn't know the rest of the phrase. Whew!
      So with all this TEXT floating around, it seems quite natural to TRY to figure out WTH everyone is on about. If you're new to the TEXT scene, it may even sound or read like THIS
     Some of these wonderful acronyms have more than one meaning..like ATM - at the moment, automatic teller machine (we like this one) and the one that I've never really heard anyone use Asynchronous Transfer Mode (ok. I bet Wayne uses that one.)
      What about GAP? We all know it's the store right? No. It also is an acronym for Got a pic? or Gay Ass People (seriously)
      One of my personal favorites has always been FAQ - which stands for Frequently Asked Questions, or phonetically... Fah - Q. (thanks again Wayne)
     OMG is another lovely TEXT or shout word isn't it? meaning Oh my Gosh or Oh My God. I have voluntarily changed this one in my vocabulary realm to Oh My Gaw (No thanks to Wayne, but thanks to Deb)
    Now I have to tell you that I was quite perplexed the other day, when I received an instant message that said 
    "ICK on the snow."  I spent hours trying to figure out the TEXT meaning for I. C. K . I even asked my fourteen year old 
    "What does that mean?" He in turn answered
    " I have no idea. Never heard of it. IDK"
     Then a few days later, while instant messaging a friend about the weather, I told her it was 107 degrees in Phoenix, Arizona and my friend said 
     "ICK 80's here and I'm dying." There it was again.
     I thought 'the best way to just get this over with is to simply ask WTF she means.' So I said
     "What does that mean?" and she answered
     " Its like 83-87 and my tits are sweating. and the ICK is the 107."
      It hit me just then. LOL was completely inappropriate. This was a LMFAO if not a ROFLMAO moment. 
      This is where I like to drive home my point that things are not always as they seem. As it seemed to me that ICK was something that I had never heard of before. When in fact I had heard it before, but not in the context of TEXT, rather in the context of what it actually is and was being used as...an INTERJECTION .
     So in conclusion, or possibly confusion here we are ADIP, hoping that this whole lot isn't FUBAR for you. And that I've provided just enough and not TMI. Most of what's been said here is true and not PDOMA. I really hope you've been able to QYB and have a laugh. Most of what I've told you here is a SEWAG and only the SNERTs will probably figure it out. Now, if you're still having a laugh and not ticked off and JUADLAM, then I have accomplished what I set out to do!

Cheers.... Until next time

Translations

ADIP - Another Day in Paradise
 FUBAR - F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition (or Repair)
 JUADLAM - Jumping Up And Down Like A Monkey
 PDOMA - Pulled Directly Out Of My Ass

QYB - Quit Your Bitching

ROFLMAO - Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off

SEWAG - Scientifically Engineered Wild Ass Guess

SNERT - Snotty Nosed Egotistical Rotten Teenager

 TMI - Too Much Information

FAQ - Frequently asked questions or F*** You.

Copyright 2014 - Noelle Sangster/Sangster Entertainment LLC - All rights reserved