When I first went through the horrible pain of a divorce, I went to Nina cause I knew she would know what to say to me, what to feed me and best of all how to relate everything she was feeding me to what was happening my life....and she did.
Once again, I was blessed to have my ninja Nina share her wonderful and sometimes harsh advice. This time it was about 'life after divorce."
I was gone from Arizona for nearly 18 months and had just recently returned. We hadn't seen each other in a while, but had spoken via phone and she knew that I was coming home to Phoenix. I came back in January of 2012 and it was February before I made it to see my friend.
While I was gone, I was involved with someone and things were perfectly fine for a while, then it got dicey and weird. I couldn't figure out why. I knew Nina would have an answer.
While I was gone, I was involved with someone and things were perfectly fine for a while, then it got dicey and weird. I couldn't figure out why. I knew Nina would have an answer.
I got the feeling that I may have been interrupting her 'alone time' but she opened the door, saw me, wrapped her arms around me, nearly squeezing the breath out of me and said "Bella, you are home!"
A brief time later, we were at the dining room table, just off the kitchen having coffee. Nina handed me a giant piece of an amazing "I can't believe anyone would ever want to stop eating this" chocolate cake. It was a Saturday and we had the house to ourselves, her family was all out doing things even her husband had gone off to golf.
She reached across the small table and lifted my chin so that I was looking her in the eye. She held my face in her hand for a minute while she looked for something in my eyes, when she let go she immediately said "Let's Make Ceviche!" She got up and headed to the kitchen. I was confused but followed her anyway.
"Get some things out of the fridge for me?" She half asked, half ordered. She began pulling large bowls and pots out of the cabinets.
"You know Ceviche, yes?" I shook my head. “Well, you will learn now, Bella....There's a large chunk of salmon in there, and some limes in the drawer." I brought her a half of a raw salmon and a small bag of about 8 limes. “Get me the cilantro, a couple of tomatoes, the peppers in the bottom of the fridge and a red onion." Her request was nearly automated, as she cut the salmon into chunks and put them in a large glass bowl.
"Salmon go upstream to spawn." She said I nodded. This is something that I did actually know, being from a Michigan, where many salmon go to spawn.
"Those little basturds will do anything to make this happen." I giggle and she proceeds into the real reason she is teaching me this lesson.
She continued to cut the salmon, when she finished. She took out the hand juicer, began juicing the limes, and continued to talk "Salmon swim upstream against all odds to return to the place where they were born." She paused. I had no idea that she knew so much about fish, but then she always amazes me. "You are the salmon. You want love and attention and rebound sex." Who doesn't want love and attention? It's the rebound sex, I didn't understand why she was calling it that.
"Nina, explain 'rebound sex' to me please. I just spend 18 months in a place I didn't wanna be with someone who I thought was someone they weren't. This is all very confusing." I told her. She nodded.
I get it, “she answered " but there's more to the story and the cooking." She held up her finger in infamous Nina style, signifying that she had one more point to make.
When the limes were juiced, she set them aside and diced and chopped the Serrano, the tomatoes, and the onion into a separate bowl, she added some spices and tossed them for a minute.
"This is you before you left Phoenix." She pointed to the bowl of items that she just tossed together "A bit of a hot mess, no?" I smiled, nodded and agreed with her. She continued "Confused, hurt, and not knowing what you want besides attention and love, yes?" I nodded again. "Bella. No one wants their life to collapse. No one wants to be alone." She touched my chin again, making me look her in the eye. She was shaking her head.
"So after they make it back to the place where they were born, the fish I mean. They will lay eggs.
Rebound sex has to do largely with being the object of someone's attention. That's not the person you are going to spend eternity with, especially if you are not equally yoked...ah, on the same page, I think you call it. Sex is physical, it doesn't have to be 'on the same page'. Relationships have to be on the same page or it fails." She made a signal as if cutting her throat with her finger.
She went back to making the Ceviche. "Now, we add the lime to the salmon, this 'cooks' the salmon. In reference to the rebound sex, this is the part when you will have had just about enough and are ready to move onto something more permanent or perhaps be single for a while." I look at her in disbelief. But I recall how I felt at the end of the short lived fun and I realize that she's right. She leaned over to me and though we were the only ones there she half whispered "Rebound sex is something that no one really talks about. But I'm telling it to you, so you can recognize where you've been, now you can move forward."
Thirty minutes later she served those little salmon basturds on a crunchy tostada shell and we had Ceviche for lunch.
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