This adventure begins where most of hope us it ends, with the employment recruiter. That is, the employment recruiter telling us that we are perfect for their client, exactly what they are looking for, ecetera ecetera....visions of sugar plums, delusions of grandeur and all that stuff.
Unfortunately, that is not his demeanor today. This interview has begun badly. You had everything, and I mean everything planned. You did everything you were supposed to do the night before to make certain that everything was perfect and would go smoothly.
What made this interview go so badly? What made the 'recruiter' act as if you were divorcing him rather than simply interviewing for employment? We may never know, but let's have a look at the events leading up to the demise of your new found potential future employment.
The night before, you carefully chose the perfect 'interviewing outfit'; black slacks, a white shell and light black jacket (the summer kind) matched with a pair of heeled short boots, that are smashing on you, Darling. You add earrings and a pendant.
In addition to having the perfect 'interviewing outfit' pressed and ready to go; you have all of your documents in order:
1. Copies of your resume, that were emailed to you from a recruiter you interviewed with the previous week.
2. Copies of your certifications in your specified field.
3. The three questions that the recruiter asked you to bring with you; written on a small legal pad and answered in your
same neat hand.
You have meticulously filled out the online portion of the interview with the exception of creating a video, which you will do at the recruiting office.
There was one thing that you did put off until your actual arrival at the recruiting office and that was the 'taxman' forms.
You arrive at the recruiting office and the gal in the front takes your identification and hands you even more forms to fill out. After you have finished that portion, she disappears into the back and emerges, followed by the "recruiter." Who on the outside and at first hand shake appears to quite normal. You follow him down the hallway to his 'office' which you will soon come to refer to as his lair, for reasons that will unfold accordingly.
You can't stop thinking of this man as the Vampire Le Stat from Anne Rice's epic novel. He's not really a vampire.....or is he? He seems quite nice at the beginning of course, until he gets you in his office, then the gloves are off so to speak.
The initial greeting was pleasant, however, once the 'meet and great' was over and the door was closed, you couldn't have been more displeased with his behavior.
First he leaned in a little too close with his bad breath and remnants of his breakfast toast still stuck like glue between his front teeth. You can tell it was white bread.
Next he told you just how important his clients are and you had an immediate flash back of a bad date with a guy who thinks that the world revolves around him. You see a problem beginning; You're Spidey sense is tingling.
He asks for your resume which you proudly hand across the desk to him. If anything, you are over qualified for this position.
The look on his face is less than pleasant and his lips begin to move. He's asking why your phone number is not on the resume?
You answer "Aren't you a recruiter?" Apparently that's the wrong question to ask a vampire who's last meal was white bread. His face twists and he lifts his brow, allowing you to continue.
"Shouldn't the client be contacting you?" His lips purse and you quickly make a note to self - 'don't be smarter than the recruiter.'
If the interview hadn't gone South yet, it's now taking a nose dive. Unfortunately, I didn't bring a parachute with me, so I'm gonna hit the ground. Hopefully, like Spider Man, or at least like Cat Woman, who lands on her feet.
Lets have a look at what we mostly know about vampires..the suck blood, therefore draining you of energy. Check.
They mesmerize you, bringing you first into their hypnotic state and then using mind control on you. Check.
Not sure I even heard his last question. I just kept staring at the white bread lodged between his teeth and then I heard my voice saying " Yeah, I don't think is gonna work out." I was getting up and putting my resume back into my brief case.
The vampire recruiter's face had turned to utter disbelief that I was ending this interview and walking out of his office. I thanked him for his time, turned and went to pick up my identification that I had left with the gal at the front desk.
A smidgen of dignity still left in tact. Check. Onto to something more suitable and less Vampirish. And away I went smiling all the way. Knowing I wasn't going to be working for that guy.
Cheers, until the next adventure!!!
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